Another one of my brilliant ideas all in the quest of my improvement of self. Ack. So, last Friday I went to the doctor, the first time to a GP in since I was like, 10---really. And I started the conversation about how I wanted to stop smoking. My fiance and I have discussed the idea, over a drink and smoke, but I've never really wanted to take any real steps towards this. I did however, throw out the idea of stopping 6 months before our wedding. Which would be around January of 2012.
Silly me, as I'm talking to my GP, the ball begins to roll and before I know it, I have a prescription for Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin.....I had heard about it from one of my pill-pooping friends in NYC. She described it in hushed tones and said it was like a superdrug. Not only did it help you to stop smoking, it also helped improve anxiety as well as depression.
I had tried half-heartedly to get a prescription from my GYN, but like most things in the last 4 years, if it took more than a single phone call, then it just wasn't worth it. However, now that I am an actual person again....this is something I thought might be worth trying.
So here is how it played out.
Friday got the prescription. Went to the pharmacy and it was hell. Literally, the pharmacist described my situation as being in insurance hell. No one wanted to pay for this. Not the state and not my primary insurance. Which I later found out was because they didn't take down the correct information.... a duh.
Saturday took the generic, which is what the pharmacist gave me and noticed I had a low-grade headache all day but had also stopped drinking in the last couple of days as well had been pretty good about the low to no carbs. So figured it must be that.
Sunday, day two of all of the above and headache was more noticiable.
At dinner, that evening, my dad and his lady friend cook an amazing meal. I tell my family of 10 who have gathered that I was no drinking, smoking and not eating carbs. As expected that made fun of me, discouraged me and since I was only on day two and wanted to anyway, I caved. On all of the above.
Monday: have the worst hangover ever. I take the generic again, but that night have a serious panic attack after spending 2 hours online reading about how the generic is essentially created by the devil.
Tuesday: Am still feeling crazy and call my dr, insurances, and pharmacist and insist on going on the name brand, ONLY. After only a couple of hours on the phone, I am finally able to get what I need.
Wednesday: Day 1 on the "real stuff." I'm feeling a little foggy and out of sorts. I'm also going to my first writing group meeting. To say I was a little out of it, would be an understatement, but I felt like it was really important for me to go.
Thursday: I'm feeling okay, almost myself and also really wanting a glass of wine. I feel a little trapped that I "can't" on Wellbutrin. But I do, and I can and I wake up on Friday feeling fine.
Friday: I take it again and feel fine. Not perfectly me, but mostly me.
And Saturday: today. I'm going to do this for one more week, until I go to LA because even though my "habit" mind is struggling with this, I think once I get over the hump, this stuff is going to be good for me. I am still smoking though....
but my doctor said give it two weeks. So. I'll let ya know. And fingers crossed. Because eventually, this body needs to be completely detoxed in order to make way for 'baby!'
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